It's Fantasy Football Time!

Who says footballers can't fly?

WARNING: Reading the following text without adequate knowledge of the beautiful game called football may result in severe mystification and a delusional belief that human beings are mercilessly bought and sold via the Internet. The author cannot be held liable for any actions of wrath or despair that may occur.

In an attempt to replicate the jobs of those suit-clad individuals who make multi-million pound purchases to eke out a living, premierleague.com, the official website of the Barclays Premier League created Fantasy Premier League, your ultimate fantasy football game. With an initial budget of £100 million, you have to pick a squad of 15 players and manage them on a weekly basis – earning points for their triumphs and losing points for their blunders.

Whether you already have a team or are looking to create one, read these guidelines carefully. Who am I to guide you? Well, I’ve played the game for the past seven seasons and have consistently made the national leader board. I know what I’m talking about. So if I were you, I’d take this advice:

1. Let’s start from the back – your goalkeeper. Traditionally, a goalie from one of your Top-4 clubs would guarantee you a bunch of clean sheets on a regular basis. Times have changed, though, and even the top clubs are finding it hard to enjoy consistent clean sheets. Do not spend too much money on a pricey goalie. Instead, pick someone who’s cheap and will make tons of saves.

Fuse Tips: Tim Krul (Newcastle, £5.0m) or Tim Howard (Everton, £5.4m)

2. Moving on to your defence – arguably the most difficult area to score points. Out of your five picks, make sure at least four of them are nailed down First XI regulars for their clubs. As far as possible, pick defenders who are likely to contribute in an attacking sense as well with strong headers from corners and assists from wide positions.

Fuse Tips: Micah Richards (Manchester City, £6.3m), Benoit Assou-Ekotto(Tottenham, £5.9m), Ryan Taylor (Newcastle, £5.5m), Martin Skirtel (Liverpool, £6.2m)

3. The midfield is an area where you can capitalise on creative players who will bag a whole lot of assists along with a decent goal tally. You may find it difficult to choose from the galaxy of stars plying their trade in the Premiership. Keep tabs on players who are enjoying a run of form and use your transfers to regularly update your midfield. Clubs like Manchester City and United adopt a rotational policy so you must have a contingency plan in case your player has been left out for a couple of matches.

Fuse Tips: Clint Dempsey (Fulham, £8.8m), Gareth Bale (Tottenham, £9.6m),Antonio Valencia (Manchester United, £8.3m), Matthew Jarvis (Wolves, £5.7m)

4. Your attack should consist of two absolutely fantastic strikers who their cubs cannot do without. These two strikers must guarantee you 20+ goals come the end of the season. Your third striker should be a regular starter for a lesser club, someone who is sure to score a few goals in patches and will serve as a backup to your main strikers. Always be wary of the form-factor as well as which strikers are out-of-favour with their club managers.

Fuse Tips: Robin Van Persie (Arsenal, £13.3m), Demba Ba (Newcastle, £7.6m),Bobby Zamora (QPR, £6.8m)

Appointing your team’s captain is another crucial decision as your captain’s points will be doubled every week. Robin Van Persie, Wayne Rooney and Gareth Bale are popular captains, with good reason too. Make sure you use your free transfer each week to freshen up your squad. In case things are going horribly for you, there’s a transfer wild card which can be used only once during the game, allowing you to make unlimited changes to your team.

Now that you’re all set, log on to www.fantasy.premierleague.com and join the Fuse Readers’ League (Code: 1430564-575546) where you can keep track of fellow readers’ teams and scores. Good luck to you, gaffer!

Red-Faced Red Nev Misses Manchester Weather?

Over the past twelve months, we have seen a number of international footballers enchant Indian audiences – Messi & Co. gave Kolkata’s football-crazed crowds quite a treat as Argentina took on Venezuela, Venky’s very own Barclays Premier League club Blackburn Rovers played in front of a packed stadium in Pune and German giants Bayern Munich enriched Baichung Bhutia’s testimonial in New Delhi. Many believe that this trend is part of a greater scheme to uplift India from the depths of footballing obscurity and transform it into a force to be reckoned with.

In keeping with this theme, the country’s most beloved foreign club Manchester United is in the process of establishing its world-renowned Soccer Schools program here in Mumbai. After club CEO David Gill announced a tie-up with the Western India Football Association (WIFA) back in November, ex-United captain Gary Neville arrived in the city to inaugurate the training program.

On a sundrenched morning at the Cooperage, hundreds of people gathered to welcome the man whom the Old Trafford faithful affectionately call Red Nev, and the man himself looked pleased as punch to be in India – signing autographs and posing for pictures until the scorching heat got the better of him. He then relaxed in the air-conditioned comfort of a new clothing and accessories store soon to be opened at the venue.  About half an hour later, he emerged in proper United training apparel, boots and all, and participated in a light training session with local schoolchildren, the beneficiaries of this whole endeavour.  Neville accompanied MUSS head coach Chris O’Brien in demonstrating ‘the United way’ of training youngsters with an array of dribbling, passing and footwork exercises while the crowd cheered his every movement. “Who do you think taught Giggsy his tricks?” Neville joked, as he pleased everyone with some elaborate twists and turns.

As the shenanigans concluded on the Cooperage turf, it was back to the grind for poor old Gary Neville with an impatient throng of fans waiting for their jerseys and footballs to be autographed and their pictures to be taken with a man they were only used to seeing week-in-week-out on ESPN.  “This is the best day of my life!” said one teary-eyed United enthusiast, proudly showing us his signed scarf. “I woke up at 6am, spent an hour and a half in the local train and waited in the sun for another couple of hours; it’s all worth it now!”

The sweat poured down Gary Neville’s face which had turned rather reddish-pink, as British skin does tend to, when faced with sunny conditions. We didn’t bother offering him a towel, though, ecstatic as we were with our autographed issue of Fuse safely in our hands, we took our leave, feeling rather pleased that India’s footballing future lies in excellent hands. 

Learn to Play the United Way in Mumbai!

Have you ever seen professional footballers training on smooth green turfs and wondered, “Why am I stuck dodging cricket balls and anthills at Oval Maidan?” Have you ever complained that your coach doesn’t understand you? That he should learn from someone like Manchester United’s coach Sir Alex Ferguson? Have you ever dreamed of playing for a big Premier League club like, say, United or Chelsea? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then you really have hit the jackpot, my friend.

Here’s the deal - Manchester United has tied-up with the Western India Football Association (WIFA) to bring its world renowned Soccer Schools program to India, the Cooperage ground in Mumbai to be more specific. Starting January 2012, Manchester United Soccer Schools (MUSS) offers a series of year-round skill development courses catering to a variety of age groups ranging from as young as 8-9 year-olds right up till 16-17 year-olds. The program wants you to actually feel like a professional footballer (a lot better than your ‘Be a Pro’ mode in FIFA12, I assure you) and at the same time, helps you to develop your game. They also promise you a lot of individual player-coach interaction, personality-building sessions and the opportunity to win a trip to England to play in the World Skills Final held at United’s Old Trafford stadium in front of 76,000 fans before an actual Premier League match kicks off!

The FUSE India Team was delighted to be present at the inauguration ceremony on a pleasant November evening, held at a Cooperage gleaming in the glory of its newly-laid artificial synthetic turf. The event was centred around the presence of one man – Manchester United CEO, Mr. David Gill. In case you don’t already know, he’s the guy who offers contracts to stars like Wayne Rooney and Chicharito. He’s the guy who all the players, coaches and management ultimately report to, he’s Sir Alex Ferguson’s boss. Now you know he’s got to be really important at Old Trafford.

Mr. Gill was welcomed by WIFA President and Member of Parliament, Mr. Praful Patel. The duo shared a light moment as Mr. Patel talked about how he had learnt to play football just across the road from the Cooperage at the Campion School in his youth. Eloquent speeches were made, followed by a candid question-and-answer session. The evening concluded with a demonstration by MUSS coaches, offering the unique opportunity of top-quality-training to a bunch of uncontrollably excited schoolchildren. Nothing beats the horrible feeling that the aged-eighteen-plus-folk, myself included, felt when we realised that we aren’t eligible for this glorious opportunity, as our feet itched to get some football boots on and have a kick-about. Young FUSE readers, listen and listen carefully - if you fancy yourself as a footballer, or even if you don’t and just like to sport, get involved.

Who knows? Maybe the next David Beckham is waiting to be discovered right here in Mumbai!  Log on to www.manutdsoccerschools.in to enrol.

It’s Not About the Money, Money, Money! Or is it?

Besides truckloads of cold hard cash, what do a Russian oligarch, an Arab sheikh, an Indian fried-chicken tycoon and an American NFL franchiser have in common? No, not just their women – all these wealthy gentlemen are proud owners of their very own Barclays Premier League football clubs.

Such a situation would have been unimaginable a couple of decades ago, but foreign ownership, multi-million-dollar player transfers, massive television rights and sponsorship deals have changed the beautiful game forever.  The game just isn’t that beautiful anymore, some purists argue, bitterly. Others, like myself, take a more progressive view on things. Football, just like any other walk of life, needs to change with time. The commercialisation of the game has been a welcome boost to everyone – players, coaches, owners and even us fans!

Think about it, which one of us doesn’t love to read about that huge £35 million signing by Manchester City or Real Madrid? Which little boy wouldn’t want to adorn a pair of Nike Mercurials like the one’s he sees his hero Cristiano Ronaldo wear in all the ads? Who wouldn’t want to watch live coverage of the European Cup Final on television? It’s the money that runs the sport today, it doesn’t ruin it.

Transfers are another major talking-point. Some argue that it’s the basest form of human slavery. Rubbish, in my opinion. The average Premier League footballer earns over £20,000-a-week. If that’s what you call slavery then sign me up! This much-criticised system of unscrupulous buying and selling of players works wonders for a sport. If it didn’t, then why would India – the perennial imitators of the West – come up with the IPL, based on the exact same model?

Call me old-fashioned, but I also take interest in what happens on the pitch and not just in the Board Rooms. For my breed, there are still 90-minutes of heart-throbbing action on the telly every weekend and I am eternally grateful to ESPN - Star-Sports for that luxury. The 2011/2012 season looks set to be another richly entertaining thrill-a-minute ride. Now it’s up to the players to listen to their massive American sponsor Nike‘s Portuguese slogan – Joga Bonito. Play Beautiful. I warned you - it’s all about the money. 

Earth to Self: "Its time to Joga Bonito!"

The following was written on 9th June, 2010, shortly before the start of he FIFA World Cup. I wrote it as a sort of Preview to the tournament. Okay, "What's the point of a preview, wehn Spain won the World Cup last night?", you may ask. Truth is, there isn't. Its just a nice article and I wanted it on my blog. A more relevant 'Review' may be on the cards soon. Anyways,I hope you enjoy reading this.

This is the first in a series of articles by Shoaib Sumar about life and the contemporary world. In this article, we discuss the FIFA World Cup and its profound impact on people from different parts of the world....

Earth to Self: "Its time to Joga Bonito!"
With the planet gripped in World Cup fever, I lay in bed one night, thinking. Thinking about what it is that makes this event unite all the nations of the world. Thinking about why it means so much to so many, everywhere. Thinking about something which I think about almost every minute of my humble existence- Football.

Call it soccer, futebol' or association football, the sport is undoubtedly the most popular game in the world. Pick up a newspaper anywhere in the world today, and I can bet my life there will be a section dedicated to the World Cup. In some countries, like Italy, even international news features forlorn somewhere in the back pages. Its football that dominates the print and visual media.

What fascinates me no end is how the same event can be viewed in different countries in so many different ways--with fear, excitement, hope, nervousness or indifference. The common denominator here is an unique sense of anticipation which even the Olympic Games fails to generate.

England: Hope.
The typical British sense of hope and loud confidence surrounds the English media. 1966 was the last time they won. But their fans remain confident that "this time, our lads will bring that trophy back to Wembley Stadium!" and with a galaxy of stars like Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, who can blame them?

The European Power Houses: Euphoria.
Intense political activity, media frenzy and public gatherings are characteristic of this time. Politicians use the sport to further their interests and use the national teams to increase their Vote Banks. Its crazy, as if the Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi (who owns the country's biggest club, AC Milan by the way,) is going to put his boots on and get on the pitch. Yet, if the team wins, it'll probably be his biggest Pay-Day. Ever. Drugs, Drink and Illicit sex will be at an all-time high in the next month.

Asia: Its Party Time!
For those in countries like South Korea and Japan who have qualified for the Cup, its a chance to see their boys on the World Stage. Playing side-by-side their more illustrious European and South American counterparts, who they watch religiously week-in-week-out on the telly.
As for us, who have no representation (or no hope of any, in the near future at least) we watch as neutrals or sort of adopt a nationality for a month or so. Its humiliating how a country, One-Billion-strong, can fail to develop the talent, on account of lack of infrastructure! But India's misadventures on the sporting front is a story for another day.
Moving on to the Arab peninsula, who will be disappointed that Algeria is the only Arabic-speaking representative, but will nevertheless enjoy the spectacle in their usual way, Cafe's will be packed, roads bustling, children on the streets of Jordan and Qatar will be seen sporting their Ronaldo7 and Rooney9 shirts. Many a Sheikh in Dubai and Saudi Arabia will be scratching their beards, thinking about how all the money in the world cannot buy a World Cup team?

The United States: What? soccer? Your kidding,right?

Although I will admit that thanks to the large number of immigrants in the US and David Beckham, 'soccer-awareness' is growing. Yet, the vast majority of Americans are happy in their own little sporting world, where they refer to their baseball final as The 'World Series'. I didn't know the 'World' spread from New York To Los Angeles!Superbowl and the NBA mean everything to them. You can just imagine two fat white guys sitting on a couch talking in their Homer Simpson-ish voices,
"Hey Charlie, wanna watch soccer? I've heard its the most popular sport in the world!"
"Well thats why THEY don't need US watching them!. C'mon I'll buy you a beer. Lets go watch the Lakers game!"
"Beer! sure dude, c'mon screw soccer. Beer and the Lakers game. Hell Yeah!"

And Finally, the World descends on South Africa.....

Ecstasy is the word that best describes the feeling in Africa on the eve of the World Cup.The first one to be held in the Dark Continent will surely be an amazing spectacle. There are smiles and streamers on every street in Jo'berg and Cape Town.People sing "When i get older, I will be stronger, they’ll call me freedom
Just like a Waving Flag"


Its that time when thousands starving in Africa will forget their condition and cheer Humanity. When Palestinians will set aside the pain inflicted upon them unfairly, and cheer Humanity.As for us, we're just thankful to ESPN-STAR Sports for showing us The Beautiful Game and hope that the players do as Nike says in Portuguese- Joga Bonito.Play Beautiful.